鲜花( 634) 鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
# u5 i" F. `' E ]& R请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写7 @" V1 T( G4 v/ y, v
. W7 Q- h+ I) h a% S7 U4 n! _1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.- V& q: r2 z- Z( N6 L# N
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫2 o+ L0 l- T6 p2 { `3 e' c
" r2 C: J7 d" D# N. }
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it* ]0 P# l; p4 x
down.
' V: b3 y$ n( Y/ l- Q( ^/ |* GWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about _5 `5 o8 I. i c
you
, K4 D# P! {% ?2 G! G6 l- c5 s; U4 c" ?leaving it down.2 c$ q8 j0 H) H# |4 n5 ]- s9 N
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
' t7 m. ]9 u# j5 L7 r
1 i4 E$ o; l& y% V, Z1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.( ^1 @4 v3 l( l$ m
Let it be.
- x* F2 ]1 b& t7 i1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
( k" J7 b5 U2 O8 v( I
& G1 b" S; G9 q0 S* i6 k+ P1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
3 B: ^: u6 h4 O$ l+ i3 {' h3 N* s0 kthat way.
. Q/ S4 x. {+ x* f; `6 Q& \! y1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!4 @+ n# ]- |- ]2 b, Y
; \% O5 N2 ?/ f+ o; v+ H
1. Crying is blackmail.
5 ?" ~0 i* r, t1,哭泣是敲诈
" j1 i: V u ]2 C7 _" M$ ~
`7 s( M( L7 k2 ~: U! \! a' E' I1. Ask for what you want.
+ k) E5 O0 @2 K- ~7 rLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!! \/ _3 ~0 j2 P1 |
Strong hints do not work!- c) _ a) t- B: M) e) `! x( c
Obvious hints do not work!: _# I. J" ~4 e" y! R
Just say it!- {" y' s2 D4 g& n+ b
1,你想要什么就说3 p6 q! S+ ^2 |* U, L' F0 I
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
9 W1 t, u- b7 C) L9 }1 F; M2 a+ V$ [% }0 q
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every - M: P; r" G, h5 K& n
question.
- p7 p( E0 y% [" ^- X1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
6 \( g0 L( Z' q# e, Z6 ^! R" y' @2 @8 N
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's7 \; A+ t7 ^9 k, s6 n
what we do.$ q" H% b: _) K1 S2 h, `
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
+ ~; N* y/ ?) e0 q2 S, A1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
4 b. I- e$ ?9 C; j, C
: ]$ ]7 p) e% W- C% W" e R1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
% w4 E. [% A+ b0 o+ I1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去! y# I5 D# a. S) C0 G
$ p4 M# k& ?6 z: _# c
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
4 I" W S% U v) AIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
( e! a7 ~" I# w. @4 S9 v我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了7 |; \* N9 F( Y+ [0 {9 |& ]
' p: n' P4 C6 o- n" [$ o8 I1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us- j% M1 i% Q8 H/ I7 a& k0 d
to act like soap opera guys.
- S2 g9 `; c7 I4 q2 Q) ?5 t( f4 c1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
4 ^( H6 T& P0 U. T
8 m* Z) C; f4 F( E& c1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
7 w0 {9 o. b# E9 r% g1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
2 Z7 U. N# m/ [# |# U" b' @/ U! P E+ L& ~7 @" D2 d5 F" f
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways: n1 U" F; Z; ~ A4 G
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
H3 f2 {8 I [# d( H1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
' ~3 O3 d( h+ }- }% z2 V9 Q0 \( I8 P
(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
) @: h8 z- K1 v! G1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
, J# b3 k" {( r fdone. Not both.
" Z% k6 c/ h# g- J0 b+ O. yIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself. w) A' g0 C$ _& f) i* t
! |) q% e$ h: R- D1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during, `4 G( O( q; C# G! v' k# e
commercials.1 ~4 p1 v# g- d7 F8 t3 t
) V% p* k1 K1 D, l4 g
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
, \8 w- n* y$ C' v$ P. Q, D+ z0 f
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
; s* W1 N, K ZPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
. `% G; c2 [. h/ k. Z1 G( LWe have no idea what mauve is.
5 P3 v9 _+ C; t0 ~7 d
! L& z7 S5 P" {, _- u# n1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
6 k `( ~. t; \8 \7 D/ F2 ]5 }$ v1 a
; j8 k" k; k: U- K' C2 X1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
- `8 m G+ J9 Lnothing's wrong.
# f4 Q1 R- K6 G: N: Z/ E, AWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.$ ]- e- F: `5 C1 P) G0 t
9 x$ [7 z) T: T) m! H# B- i
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
8 w+ o/ g9 t/ l% T9 i" G9 O2 Cyou don't want to hear.
/ j" [9 ^. e+ R1 J! g8 t1 h' B/ d# Z& U# B Y5 `8 a1 Z* |; F
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
' H) g0 t% J6 X2 d8 e1 I1 @fine...Really.
; v# t3 P* U$ Y
7 M E' N* g" w. y0 Z0 H- Z1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
) d1 i G4 L- L% Udiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
9 M# ?) @3 c M: [" |# _7 L4 T. _7 y2 N4 r( M$ o9 a `4 P
1. You have enough clothes.- Q* l: g5 j5 e7 z# @ t: r
6 K, G1 a. z7 N: z3 A7 q
1. You have too many shoes.8 ^2 f) U8 K0 y8 l8 Z* c8 F, O0 l
* P' H% y3 V P6 ?" e6 c6 \& a9 A5 N1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!* p8 n6 `/ C) e: C
# z2 m' I+ V$ A3 M, H
1. Thank you for reading this.
4 a- {* `8 y% D" T, u
3 b5 y) k) t& U8 D0 e- u) \Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;) L. X8 r/ S1 T; ?2 U0 P0 m& F# u
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping." ~4 R7 G0 N# }! X/ E
, T* t" d# U! Z# q, ?, L# f# p1 Y
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.& \7 r+ X( B, o, C5 W: E% A, m
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|