鲜花( 634) 鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!6 i! v* m& h- P" Y; f
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写7 x) h# u' z8 s7 V
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
3 t/ k1 g8 A) L9 T) R3 p1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫1 X# c) G& p' V( x! B
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
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We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about * ?2 _7 Z0 T/ {8 O
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leaving it down.; U o: E/ j7 s9 v* Q; V
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.2 U/ e) j; @! x! P" l9 l8 s' _
Let it be.
+ k: r- c6 Q/ ^0 _- q) r. G1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去1 U$ Z2 A/ _ H( T
! |2 K4 t: V9 w( {3 @* s1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it) ?( a+ t) f, D( i! f3 V
that way.) Y) {" W3 v" g7 \* c
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.
- o( t4 {( @ ~: H z2 g1,哭泣是敲诈# n" `. i( [5 B; ~
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1. Ask for what you want.
7 j9 y `: m. D S3 m: l6 {Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!0 @% \4 H' a- O3 K
Strong hints do not work!3 Y$ X% o. o; Y! f0 i7 ?
Obvious hints do not work!, ~* Q/ k6 R# n# Z, k8 J. k
Just say it!
2 a/ H: o/ t2 V9 Q W. I1,你想要什么就说
7 ] F+ A1 B/ `2 p1 U( O b L9 ~3 g4 R我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!6 a0 Q( z- H- r h+ s4 ~
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's( h$ l v1 ?% t
what we do., _* q- O2 b( [3 N! b! _
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
# b0 w' C5 j, T E" _- X* s* H1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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6 o0 Q- _3 J9 c, s1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.. K/ [! C) k0 |
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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/ V j. Z" X8 y/ z1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.5 Y" m& \9 A1 V8 a/ R
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
% F: M" b- m' c2 [我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us6 M" G, |9 f) l( t& p- t
to act like soap opera guys.+ \4 h8 i! k" @5 z3 v
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们1 P/ O" g5 J4 }; j n
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
5 h8 j! Q. @: y1 \( I1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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t: e _0 h5 ?$ j/ S% @1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways: q+ q; Z! ?5 H6 _1 c8 V& ]( u
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.% M, b# g+ P; A) K9 P
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢); B( T: ^' M3 L7 I9 E3 c: _) ~
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it2 W. C: ^. I5 N @8 u H' v
done. Not both.! ?% m2 t a _; F, m9 e
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.0 r; M8 S, C# z8 ]4 U: O) m
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during, F0 K/ ~: C/ }3 @4 H$ |: @8 Z
commercials.0 ]/ \" R# k& ^- p- Q* H' b% ^
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.. T9 g. N* ]0 M% I" w2 M# M3 t
2 D+ H5 p i$ e; V9 y1 y3 k1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.3 X ~ k g. u M9 R0 W
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
" W$ U/ d6 _6 \/ FWe have no idea what mauve is.& ?( @3 x; P& J7 ?& L
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that. N7 a) f8 C2 L3 @! t4 y {& j/ r
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
" p% Y3 }) ~9 W; |8 N: @- J) d1 enothing's wrong.
" J, h: n+ u' hWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer& t3 \7 g5 @; _) N
you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is5 j3 c: z9 b8 z: r; N% i
fine...Really.
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7 A2 ]6 l/ L( _1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to: y- o/ d0 r! l# z% q: b% X; W# T
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.# d& j* q/ N8 }- `; E/ H7 N8 L
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1. You have enough clothes.* P0 i5 U$ _2 f# Y
8 `6 ~" C3 B6 A5 P* b+ ^1. You have too many shoes." v/ I0 s- G ^7 S8 c
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!2 y. g. x. |5 L* O9 R1 X* a
) S5 M8 K) j! a8 a4 r1. Thank you for reading this.! w ~) B! A) x
% N) s# C# U( MYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
( p2 x9 @( | k; [' s. O' J' QBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
/ O1 Z# d( a' D& L: C- {Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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